Perfect Evening
The wine is chilled, the lights are low, the music is soft. After kissing her you reach out and begin to unbutton her blouse. She reaches her hand out and strokes your chest, her lips slightly parted and her eyes dreamy. You pull her blouse off and stroke her throat, and she makes a purring sound. You're about to make the next move... the phone rings! It never fails - after setting the stage for a night of perfect passion, something will happen to ruin the sexy mood you've take such care to set up unless you take a few precautions in advance.
- First off, turn off the phone ringer and turn down your answering machine. The only thing worse than having the phone ring while you're in a situation like above would be having you decide to answer the phone - a definite no-no. Having the phone ringing and ringing while you make your signature move, or hearing a voice in the room saying "Are you there? Pick up the phone" is not definitely conducive to furthering a night of passion. It should go without saying, but don't answer the phone. Expecting your date to wait patiently while you talk about football scores or the meeting at work is one thing. Expecting her to maintain her level of sexual excitement is not going to happen without you there to keep her simmering.
- This one is especially for couples. If you have children, either send them to the babysitter, leave them with a sitter and visit a nice hotel, or make sure if they're small that they are thoroughly tucked into bed and asleep. Many a parent has suddenly heard the sound of a tiny voice saying "Daddy, how come you're kissing Mommy like that?" NOT a romantic moment.
- If you like a little music to soften the mood, don't rely on a source that will some- times barrage you with commercials. You don't want to an ad for auto insurance or - worse - douche or hemorrhoid preparations - to intrude on your night of love. And make sure that your musical selection doesn't have any loud songs that might come on later during a sensitive moment. For this reason, leaving your TV off is a good idea, as well.
- Clean up your apartment, or at least the parts you'll be using. Throwing your girlfriend back on the bed to make love to her and having her come face-to-face with your dirty socks may not be the best way to make her feel what you are hoping she'll feel.
- Also hide or put away any porn or nude magazines. You may not find them a problem, but most women really don't like them. Your evening will go a little smoother if you just keep them out of sight.
- Clean the bathroom before your date comes over. If you're married, it won't hurt you to do this, either. Women do like to use the bathroom before sex, and a yellow toilet bowl or your hair clippings all over the sink is certainly going to make staying in the mood rather difficult for her.
- Never serve the following foods for a romantic pre-coital meal: beans, broccoli, onions, heavy garlic, very hot hot sauces, or anything that is difficult to digest, strong of odor or hard to eat like spaghetti. Also avoid food like turkey legs or corn on the cob that leave strings between your teeth.
- Having a condom where you can get to it easily and quickly - put the wrapped condom under your pillow, or just inside a drawer where you expect to end up can keep you from having to stop at a sensitive moment and look for a condom or tear open the box. Also try not to leave the condom package out in plain site.
- If you have roommates, make sure they're out for the entire evening. You don't want to find your roommate walking in just as you have removed your partner's bra and she's got her hands on your zipper. This can be embarrassing, and if your roommate is casual, he or she may even try to start a conversation!
- If you drink wine or other alcoholic beverages, be sure that you don't drink too fast. Too much alcohol can not only make you less in touch with what is going on, it can also cause you to act inappropriately and can cause impotence. A pleasant glow is one thing, but try to avoid going further.
- Basically, before you begin your romantic evening, make sure that you have taken care of any potential distractions, that your space is clean and pleasant, that the stage is set for a night of passion.